I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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