GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
