I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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