i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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