Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
