You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
