so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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