I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You took a bar mat shot.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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