I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
