DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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