Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
