how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
