Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Pooping to opera.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
