is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
