Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
