I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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