I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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