Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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