Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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