Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
