I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
