who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
