Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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