She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
