WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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