Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
