what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
