Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
