I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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