how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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