my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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