I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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