how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
