This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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