My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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