i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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