You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
