Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
