maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
