Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
