I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
