I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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