It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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