Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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