ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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