piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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