is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
