Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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