we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
