Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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