Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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