You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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